Communication Danger Signs

. . . . and What to Do About Them

Escalation

Responding back and fourth negatively with each other. It often spirals into increasing anger and frustration.

. . . . Time Out

Calm Down for at least 20 to 30 minutes, but agree to get back to the subject in less than 24 hours.

Putting down the thoughts, opinions or character of others.  Watch out for name calling, rolling your eyes, using words like “it’s obvious” and “ you should”.

. . . . Speaker Listener Technique

Repeat back what the person is telling you, like when you order food and the person taking your order repeats back what you ordered so they get it right.

Negative Interpretation

Making a negative and unfair assumption about what your partner was thinking.

. . . . "I" Messages

Tell what the specific action was that caused the problem, when it happen, and how it effected you emotionally and concretely.

Withdrawal

Unwillingness to get into or stay with important discussions.  It can be anything from getting up and leaving the room to just “turning off” or “shutting down”.

. . . . Expectations

We need to be aware of what our expectations are. They need to be reasonable.  We need to tell the other person what they are.  We need to be willing to meet our partners most important and reasonable expectations.